Whether you're preparing for your baby's arrival or are already occupied with the beautiful whirlwind of motherhood, one thing is certain: You don't have time for unnecessary drama. Whether pregnant or raising children, your energy is valuable, and anything that wastes it is not worth your time. However, we all know that drama has a sneaky way of getting into our lives. Perhaps Shabana khala wanted to be personally served food at the khandaan ki dawat, or an old aquaintance didn’t like the way you smiled at them after a reunion, or a friend who loves to thrive in chaos. So, how do you deal with drama without letting it control your life? How do you establish boundaries, maintain your peace, and prioritize your well-being and family? Let us help you.
Why does drama feel intense during these special times?
If drama has been overwhelming you recently, you are not alone. Pregnancy and motherhood cause significant physical and emotional changes. Your hormones are changing, your priorities are shifting, and your tolerance for unnecessary stress is likely lower than ever before. There is also an increase in sensitivity at this time. You may find yourself more affected by negativity, unsolicited opinions, or toxic relationships that you previously tolerated. It's normal. Your brain and body are wired to protect your baby, which includes the desire to create a calm, safe environment.
But here's the harsh reality: some people don't respect that. They may still attempt to draw you into their chaos, guilt-trip you for not participating, or bring negativity into your space. This is where setting boundaries becomes unavoidable and, honestly, a necessary step.
- Step 1: Is it my responsibility?
Not all problems require your attention. Not all battles are yours to fight. Some people thrive on drama because it distracts them from their own problems. They escalate minor issues into major crises, start unnecessary conflicts, and constantly seek validation through chaos. If you're naturally nurturing and empathetic (as you probably are if you're a mother or mother-to-be), it's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to fix things for them. But first, ask yourself these questions:
- Is this something I can control? If not, there's no point in worrying about it.
- Kya ye meri zindagi mein fazool ka stress add kar raha hai? If so, you have the right to walk away.
- Am I being drawn in because of guilt or obligation? If this is the case, there is no compelling reason to participate.
Your peace matters. If someone's drama is causing you more stress than support, it's okay to take a step back.
- Step 2: Boundary time
Setting boundaries isn't about being rude or excluding people; it's about protecting your mental and emotional health. If an auntie has opinions on how to raise your bacha, a friend keeps dragging you into their dramay, or social media is causing you anxiety, you have every right to set boundaries. Here's how:
- With family: If someone is bothering you with negativity, try saying, "Appka bohot shukriya, but mein wohi karungi jo mujhe abhi theek lag raha hai”. If they don't respect that, limit conversations or just do what we do best: smile, nod, and ignore.
- With friends: If someone is constantly bringing drama into your life, set a boundary by saying, "I care about you, but ye cheez mujhe concern nahi karti itna, and I truly do not have time for so much chaos.” You do not have to be their emotional dumping ground, ever.
- With social media: If scrolling makes you feel worse rather than better, take a break. Mute, unfollow, or delete anything that triggers your anxiety. You do not owe anyone access to your mental space.
It's okay to say no; you do not need to explain or justify your decision to maintain your peace.
- Step 3: Never be too quick to react
Drama thrives on reactions. The more you participate, the bigger it becomes. If someone says something offensive, pause before responding. Ask yourself this:
- Do I even have to respond? Some things don't deserve your attention.
- Will my words make a difference, or will they only make the drama spicier for them? If it doesn't help, let it go.
- What would I do if I were calmer? Choose that path.
Instead of arguing, explaining, or becoming defensive, try not to engage. Change the subject, walk away, or say something neutral like, "Hmm challo usski marzi”. The more unresponsive you are, the more control you have over the narrative.
- Step 4: Change your social stance
Not everyone deserves a front-row seat in your life. Pregnancy and motherhood will reveal who truly cares and who drains your energy. Pay attention to how others make you feel.
- Do they lift you or bring you down with their drama?
- Do they honor your boundaries or make you feel guilty?
- Do they provide genuine advice or simply worsen your stress?
- Do they want to listen to you, or do they want to use you as their unpaid therapist?
Try surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being—those who encourage you, listen without passing judgment, and respect your boundaries. This could be your partner, a close friend, or an online community of mothers who understand your experience.
- Step 5: Put yourself first
At the end of the day, your emotional well-being is about your baby, your children, and the home you're providing for them. If something is causing you unnecessary pareshani, it is not worth it. Your energy should be spent on things that make you happy, not on solving other people's problems. Instead of getting caught up in negativity, focus on what is truly important:
- Take care of yourself: Rest, eat well, exercise, and do what makes you happy.
- Find healthy outlets: If you're feeling overwhelmed, try journaling, meditation, or talking to a loved one who knows you better and whose opinion you trust.
- Trust yourself: You know what's best for you and your baby; don't let outside noise shake your confidence.
- You have enough to think about: Your health, your baby, and your happiness. Always repeat these lines to yourself:
- I prefer peace over drama
- I’m not Bob the Builder, I can not fix everything
- I do not get marks for participation
- I do not owe anyone an explanation
Drama will always exist, but you can choose whether or not to participate. Choose peace. Choose joy. Choose what works best for you and your family. Remember that it's okay to let go of relationships that no longer serve you. You don't have to hold onto people simply because of history; neither do you have to entertain them out of farz.
